#58 When You Grow Up Poor…

… health insurance is a good laugh. I mean think about it. You were born with the blood of dainty English fops coursing through your rich veins.

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You merely observe the proverbial mud puddle from a distance and avoid it so as not to soil your silk stockings! I was BORN in that puddle like Bane was born in darkness! I grew up in there. In my lonely days bacteria and viruses were my only company! The blood of muddy mountain folk courses though my copper pipes!

So NO, SORRY I did not opt for dental coverage when I landed that job that offered free dental coverage. You can’t trick me! I know dentists and if there’s one thing I know about dentists it’s that dentists will get you one way or the other if you show em your teeth. The teeth they collect are fuel for their nightmares and they feed on the plaque of their victims.

And YES I did go to the dentist for the first time in 12 years soon after I got married because a little piece of my tooth fell off when I decided to floss for the first time in 12 years.

Big whoop!

And YES the dentist was really nice and great I don’t know why I said that mean thing about dentists before. And YES I DID have 9 cavities that had been around for who knows how long and it was going to take a year to fill them and my receding gum line may have needed a surgical graft and that piece of tooth that fell off wasn’t a piece of tooth at all it was a big chunk of hardened calcified plaque and maybe when the pretty dentist stewardess lady started chipping away at all the other calcified chunks on my teeth she gave me the most pitiful look of loathing right before she gagged in her mask for what she called “the first and only time I’ve ever gagged before I’m so sorry I don’t know what happened” and you ask her to give you laughing gas so you don’t have to be present for these kinds of moments anymore.

Mountain blood!

And don’t even get me started on the hospital healthcare coverage!

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