#62 When You Grow Up Poor…

debt

… you read Dave Ramsey‘s blog post about 20 Things Broke People Say (That Rich People Do Not Say) and oh my hell! You can’t help but laugh because you realize this list was 100% created by an eternally rich person. And you have some thoughts of your own you feel you need to share with everyone.

So lets review this list of “things that all poor people definitely say (…WINK!)”:

If I earn interest, I have to pay more taxes.

  • This could be true, who knows! I wouldn’t. In order to earn interest you have to have money in the bank.

There’s no shame in being poor, just in dressing poorly.

  • I’ve never talked to another poor person who said there was no shame in being poor. It’s a crying shame. In fact the only reason I’m dressed like a scrub is because I’m too busy shaming myself for being poor to notice how I look.

At my age, it’s too late anyway.

  • This is true. I started saying this when I was 10. It was true then and its true now.

Why save money? You can’t take it with you when you die!

  • You know what you can take with you though? Happiness. And saved money doesn’t buy happiness. Spent money does. Anyone who tells you money doesn’t buy happiness has never ridden a 4-wheeler.

We’re only young once!

  • Only young once…but poor the whole time.

But it’s only zero percent interest!

  • No human on Earth says “only zero percent” anything. That isn’t even grammatically correct. You would say “It’s zero percent interest” or you might say “But it’s no interest!” It doesn’t make any sense to say it’s ONLY zero percent interest. And again, you have to HAVE money to be able to qualify for a credit card. This is a sentence a moderately wealthy person says before they BECOME poor.

I’ll pay it off next month!

  • Nope. Wrong. I never said this. The correct phrase is: “I hope they don’t notice when I don’t pay next month either!” and then you have daydreams about all the files at the collection agency getting burned up in a fire and getting a letter in the mail next month that just says “You dodged a bullet this time but we’ll get you.”

Old cars just aren’t safe.

  • What the Hell????

Whatever you want, dear.

  • Holy. Hell. When you work two jobs you are away from home for 16 hours a day. Your significant other is at home with 4 kids, only two of which are yours (the other two just come and go as they please and you have no idea who they belong to) and she hasn’t taken a shower in 4 days, and is covered in breast milk and poop. You come home and she says “Hey wanna go see Jumanji on Friday?” You gonna say “Umm I don’t think we have the funds in our budget this month dear. That’s $15 dollars that would otherwise be earning interest in our compounded IRA backed David Lee ROTH account!” Trust me. $15 dollars for movie tickets once a month is far more economical than a nasty ass divorce.

I’ll start my budget next month.

  • What budget? Whats a budget? Budgeting when you’re poor is incredibly easy. You are always on a budget. You have more expenses than you do income so the math is easy. “Hey, we’re out of money again.” Welp! Our budget is finished. Easy Peasy.

It’s for the kids.

  • Okay, okay you got me. This one is true. I do this all the time. “Honey we need diapers…for the kids. Oh hey honey, we need some food… for the kids. Oh dang honey, I’m really sorry I know this sucks and we dont have to, but we need a car seat… fir the kids.” So yeah… GUILTY AS CHARGED.

I work hard so I deserve to have it!

  • Poor people don’t talk about “treating themselves” like Rich people do. They just do it.
  • POOR PEOPLE: “I have this ten dollars. I never have ten dollars. This thing is ten dollars. I’ll buy this thing.”
  • RICH PEOPLE: “Oh here is another $1,000 dollars leftover from my paycheck. What shall I ever do? Perhaps I’ll buy a paisley smock. I deserve it because I earned all this leftover money. It’s my …. prerogative. HAhAHahahHAHAHA!”

I’ll just keep paying the minimum payment.

  • …because I have no more money to put toward it…. is the end of that sentence.

My rich grandparents are going to die soon.

  • AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! Holy hell this one is really good. Poor people don’t have rich grandparents. That’s science. That’s why we’re poor. We daydream about things like rich grandparents, long lost relatives leaving us their Confederate gold in a will, it winning the lottery. It’s not gonna happen. Our family never had anything to pass along to us in the first place. Holy hell.

I want my kids to have it better than I did.

  • This is true. But shouldn’t it be true of ALL people???

It’s cheaper to eat out than eat at home.

  • Here’s how I know that this was so obviously written by a wealthy person. Because wealthy people don’t feed their whole family off of dollar menus for $8 bucks. It is definitely not cheaper to eat out … if you’re eating out at farm-to-table local boutique restaurants every night. But damn you can get a double cheeseburger to split between two of your kids for $1 so…..

Always keep a house payment for tax purposes.

  • There is no way a poor person could have ever said this because I honestly have no idea what this means? How does this work? Is it true? Whats a house payment? What are tax purposes?

I’ll save next year when I’m making more money.

  • This is 100% true. I say this often and so does every other poor person I know.

We’ll pay it off when the tax return comes in.

  • Also 100% true. And I honestly am struggling to see how this is a negative. It makes A LOT of sense.

If everyone followed the Dave Ramsey plan, the economy would fail.

  • What’s a Dave Ramsey plan? Sounds like something for rich people.

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